


The One About Logic Rearing Its Ugly'ead

by polybi



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Prisoner (1967)
Genre: AO3 exclusive, Attempt at Humor, F/F, Four in bed nekkid, Gen, Gift, Parody, Polyamory, fooling around in bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polybi/pseuds/polybi
Summary: The Doctor, The Bad Wolf, The Mistress, and the Companion are watching a classic bit of British Telly.  In bed. You can imagine.
Relationships: Missy/Clara Oswin Oswald, Thirteenth Doctor/Missy/Clara Oswin Oswald/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	The One About Logic Rearing Its Ugly'ead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AXEe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AXEe/gifts).



**Somewhere between outer and inner space:**

Ostensibly, they were chasing down an evil union of a Fake Master, Cybermen, and Daleks. Since this unholy union’s goal was to erase all time, C--the head of MI6 (whom the Doctor sorely wished that sniper aimed higher so the bastard would not have miraculously survived the shooting) persuaded the Doctor, Rose, Missy, and Clara to pursue the villains. 

Not that either of them had _any_ objections... 

So it came to pass as the TARDIS was zipping past stars and asteroids, that the Fam was fast asleep, and in the Doctor’s main bed-chamber lay Clara, Missy, the Doctor, and Rose, covered only by a heavy pink comforter and the sweat generated by two hours of, shall one say, heavy lifting.

And so the Doctor suggested to the TARDIS that she could find something that would give the quartet a way to wind down a bit before the next round. The conveyance decided to give the younger women in the bed something that was entirely on point for the Time Ladies....and, well, it was British.

Patrick McGoohan’s classic 1965 series, _The Prisoner._

It was a rather imaginative show about a man, played by McGoohan, who was kidnapped and taken to this place to ferret out information. It was a rather weird place, and although the TARDIS thought she might have not known about the show because of youth, Clara Oswald knew that iconic intro piece word by word. With some recasting within her mind, of course:

_The Doctor: Where am I?_

_Missy: In the village._

_Doctor: What do you want?_

_Missy: Information._

_Doctor: Whose side are you on?_

_Missy: That would be telling. We want information...information... information!!!_

_Doctor: You won't get it!_

_Missy: By hook or by crook, we will._

_Doctor: Who are you?_

_Missy: The new Number Two._

_Doctor: Who is Number One?_

_Missy: You are Number Six._

_Doctor (running on the Village's beach): I am not a number; I am free!!!_

_Missy: [Laughter]_

Of course, Missy could tell that Clara was thinking that. The older Time Lady reached behind and gave Clara’s bum a little squeeze. Her poppet responded with a lascivious lick on Missy’s naked back while caressing the Time Lady’s rather sizable breasts.

The four time travelers were engaged in either watching, fooling around, or both. So it came to pass for the weekly appearance of “Rover,” the oversized weather balloon that usually stops escapees on the beach by rolling over the poor person and smothering them to death.

The Doctor noticed Rose’s rather pronounced eye-roll. “What?” said the Doctor with a raised eyebrow.

Rose responded: “I mean every week that damned balloon just _riiiiises_ out of the ooze or whatever and runs someone down. I mean there is a simple way to solve it...” Bad Wolf powers were then activated as Rose turned into a pretty decent facsimile of a Chromecast dongle, staring at the screen and projecting this image: Rover was about to rundown poor McGoohan when Number 6 looks down, sees a rather large Singer sewing needle, picks it up, and throws the ersatz javelin right into Rover, who sputters and whizzes around before landing lifeless and airless on the white sand beaches of what one could assume was Dover, with the Number 2 of the week (probably Leo McKern but no one on the bed was keeping tabs looking non-plussed, and McGoohan just shrugging with a goofy look.

“See?” said a sprightly Rose, whilst the Doctor, the Mistress, and the Companion just started at a Bad Wolf trying to smile with her perfect teeth showing. 

The Doctor playfully pinched her nose. “What am I going to do with you?”

Clara and Missy simply looked on, smirks aplenty as the former’s arms were wrapped around the latter’s torso. Clara: “You do have several options available...”

Missy: “Yes Mildred, darling. And they usually start by kissing a certain Wolf... _ravenously_...”

And with that angelic face...how can the Doctor not? The Doctor kissed Rose, who returned the favor with vigor. This inspired Missy and Clara, who followed suit.

And as the screen showed that Penny Farthing bike being assembled under Ron Grainer’s score, The Prisoner’s night was over, and the Fab 4’s night was just beginning...

**Fin**

**Author's Note:**

> I’m continuing my polyamorous grouping for a friend. And also inserting The Prisoner into this. It was one of my favorite shows growing up and I always wanted to do that to that bulbous balloon
> 
> The Prisoner is a property of ITV and Everyman Films (the McGoohan estate). Doctor Who is a property of BBC. I’m just borrowing the characters for fun
> 
> Let me know what you think...hope ya liked it.


End file.
